New Here, Guten Tag?
by The Man Who Speaks In Hands
Summary: Simon Rhienmetall arrives fresh off the ship to America from Germany, after being deported. He eventually finds his way to Freddy's through an ad, and gets the job, but only realizes the horror way too late. Creepy Co-Workers, Chilling Mystery, Surprisingly Human Animatronics. Criticism allowed! Review!
1. Arrival (Re-Done!)

Karmic Retribution

 **Hey, another NOT self insert! Here we have, Simon Rhienmetall, a German who was deported from Germany, for treasons he wishes no one know. This is a ONE SHOT! If you want it to be a story, I will gladly continue it, it'll just take forever. And Simon arrives in Oregon, America,.. NOW!**

The Fourth Class tickets were the most the German government would pay to get me here. Sigh, I am not scum! I have done nothing! They never believed me.. Oh well, I heard from the Russian dude next to me that we arrive in ten minutes. Well, I am Simon Rhienmetall, a twenty four year old man, with blond hair (slicked back) and blue eyes. I prefer my grey T-shirt and jeans. I need to find work fast if I'm to survive in the United States..

Finally I feel the ship stop. " _Haben wir angekommen_?" (Have we arrived?) I stand up, and so does the Russian next to me. He seems glad, yet I am terrified. What do I do? Where will I go!? The Russian turns to me, and smiles " _Я думал, что я никогда не вырваться из этого ада дыра .. им , наконец, здесь !"_ (I never thought I'd escape that hell hole! I'm finally here!) I have no idea what he said.. But he sounds happy.

We make our way up to the top deck, passing multiple people, mostly tourists coming back from other countries, people hugging people, people running, people laughing. Where am I in this? I'm standing next to no one. Well, my parents were citizens of America, so I don't need to go through naturalization. I walk onto the board walk, and look around. Fisherman, all around, fishing as they rightfully should. I don't feel at home. I am only normal to those I have been surrounded by all my life. I don't know anyone! I don't even speak English!

I step off the board walk, no bags, nothing. I walk into a strange town, signs hang everywhere, that I can barely make out. I figure I will go to find a place I can stay. A man walks toward me, holding a piece of paper, and saying something very loud, as if begging. He's well dressed, obviously wealthy. My head turns into a flippin' tomato, and I stop walking. My eyes meet his, and he smiles, and shoves the paper into my hands. I look at it.

It's a.. Newspaper? I don't know, and I look up, and he's gone. I turn around, looking again. Nothing. I sigh, and read a little bit of what I can make out "Grand ..Opening, ... Given new life, need ... Staff." Huh. An ad? I need work. I turn my head up, and walk in the direction I feel my heart beating towards. I turn left, right, left, left, and go straight a block. And somehow, I feel that the sign I see ahead looks like the one on the news paper in my hands!

I look down. They match! I look up, a smile on my face! Hope, I feel it! A possible job, all I can hope for!

I sprint towards the building like a mad man! I stop for a second, hesitating. The building looms over me, intimidating. Cracks in the architecture, dozens of other things! It all seems way too much different from the one on the paper.. I look up, close my eyes, and stiffen up my face! Your a man Simon! There is no obstacle you cannot conquer!

I stumble in the door, my confidence still outside apparently. I stand there, hands in my pockets, waiting for nothing, my head completely aching after spending all of three seconds in the building! Very, **VERY** loud music! Kids screaming! Good lord, where am I!? The German government really knows how to punish people..

A woman walks up to me, and says something along the lines of "Sir.. Can't be.. Without a child." I add two and two, and realize she wants me to leave if I don't have a kid with me. I jump and pull the news paper out of my pocket, and point to the ad, and smile. Please work, please work!

She says "Oh!" And tells me to follow. I do as told, and eventually end up in an office, a round, chubby, happy looking man sitting in front of me. She says "This man.. Ad.. Job.." As she says the last word I beam and nod. She turns to me "Can you.. English?"

I then repeat the one thing I know in English "I.. Speak.. German.. From.. Germany." These English words are so confusing! What the hell is a Germany!? It's Duestchland!

The two realize what I said, which astounds even me. My English must be terrible! Like nails on a chalk board.. The man at the desk, whom I now recognize as the owner of this establishment smiles and says, in Duestch, " _Ester Tag_?" (First day?) I sigh and smile " _Ja_." (Yes) the boss smiles, looks at me up and down, and appears to be deep in thought, but he doesn't seem happy.. He's looking at me like he see's a bullet coming towards my head, and he REALLY wants to tell me..

" _Ja, Sie können den Job haben , wenn Sie wollen_?" (Yes, you can have the job, if you want?) I smile broadly " _Ja_!" (Yes!) however I remain cautious and curious. He turns to the woman who led me here. "Kate, get this gentleman a uniform," he turns his attention to me. " _was ist Ihr Name, Kind?_ " (What's your name, kid?) I puff out my chest and adjust my posture "Simon Rhienmetall!" He laughs and says "Hehe, wohl Soldat!" (Hehe, at ease soldier!)

I the follow the woman, Kate, after she tugs on my shirt sleeve. I am dragged to another room, after some walking, and finally we arrive in a room full of uniforms. I look through some uniforms, and sigh, some name tags are scorched or.. Blood stained? NEIN, that has got to be marker, but some names are still readable. "Jacob Fitzeres" and "Nicholas Brenemir" are some names that I can still read. Nicholas's Uniform is massive, but has a.. _Stab wound?_ On the back. Nicholas at least had to be at least EIGHT FEET TALL.

Jacob's has a **massive** blood splatter on the front.. I turn to Kate, and look at her with a **_'WHAT ZE BACKFLIPPING FUCK!?_** ' Look on my face, and she nods, understanding. "Those were past night watch men.. You don't wanna know." I turn back to the uniforms, and there's one in perfect condition, next to one that appears to be wet, but I can't tell what the lequid spilled on it was.. Maybe root beer, it looks kinda reddish. The perfect one has a blank name tag, and the one next to it is (was wet) labeled "Michael Schmidt."

I put the perfect one on, and instant authority runs in my veins. I feel power, as if I were the best man in the building. I protect all! I smile chaotically, not noticing Kate blushing with a hand over her mouth trying not to laugh.

She hands me a belt, with three or four items. A taser, duh. Handcuffs, duh. Pepper spray, duh. A note pad? Eh. Suddenly a young man walks in, walks up to Kate, and have some small talk. He takes off his uniform, the name tag reading "Jeremy Fitzgerald." On the front. He's a tiny, tiny man. Barely 5'2. He notices me, and asks Kate something. She points at me and says "... Name is Simon Rhienmetall..." Some other words I couldn't understand.

Jeremy steps forth and shakes my hand. He seems terrified of me. I smile broadly, and he just shrinks further. I'm not terrifying! Oh wait. Our uniforms look different.. Oh wait, I'm of higher authority, aren't I? I just began! Eh. I just say "Hello! I am Simon Rhienmetall!" Mike's uniform is dark blue, and Jeremy's is light blue..

Jeremy smiles, still blushing like a tomato.

"Hi! I'm Jeremy Fitzgerald, and I think your not gonna like Mike.. He's.. Strange." I tilt my head questioningly. He points to the uniform, of Mike Schmidt. That's who that is then.. "Warum wird nicht ich ihn mag ?" (Why won't I like him?) Kate, apparently also speaking German (thank god for bilingual people!) translated what I said to Jeremy, and Jeremy told me "He's strange.. He acts like a man lost in the middle of the Sahara.. With a FRICK ton of water, but no food.." I tilt my head again, still confused.

He shakes his head, and says "Never mind, just.. I gotta go, my shift is over anyway!" He rushes off. I'm still confused. I shrug my shoulders, and ask for the time. Kate replies "Das Ziet is," she looks at her watch "5:00 P.M, Sie beginnen um 12:00 Uhr zu arbeiten!" (The time is, 5:00 P.M., You start working at 12:00!) I walk outta the building, feeling glorified, despite having no place to stay. Kate rushes out after me. "Sorry about not telling you, your to be paid $120.54 a week!" And then her face softens.

"You seem nice.. Uh I have to warn you.. The Animatronics aren't exactly very friendly to the guards..." I tilt my head, now just mindfucked. " _diese animatonics sind harmlos , was könnte einer von ihnen sogar zu einer Person zu tun ?_ " (Those animatronics are harmless! What could one even DO to a person?)

She goes from worried to serious! "Listen Simon! Come in tonight, and you'll know what I mean! Just.. Don't ever, EVER, leave the office the millisecond the clock strikes Twelve!" I examine her face, for signs of trickery. She isn't lying. Something bad is gonna happen, huh? Well, I'm the Night Security, I'm the man to DEAL with these things! Ja, I'm the most important man in the building!

 **Well, guys, if you want more, Imma have to tell ya, the reviews (I'll need THREE to continue the story a second chapter..) better be pretty ok. I have some more stuff lined up, but so far this is gonna be the first chapter! And yes, some of the stuff is actually me translating, some of it is Google translate, some might be right, some might be wrong.**


	2. Chapter 2, by Popular Request, Re-ReDone

Karmic Retribution

 **Chapter 2 of that one shot that was gonna be a one shot. I guess not, thanks to three supporters by the names of.. Capricorn the mediocre, Tom, and The Emerald Queen 88! Good Job, thanks. I really wanted to continue this actually... I might've continued it anyway XD. But yeah, after this chapter I'm gonna need ANOTHER 3 for chapter 3. Muahahah, I'm so evil. Nvm, eh.**

Simon was walking about, after Kate gave him $20 and told him to go eat. Among other things like "You look like you haven't eaten in days!" And "Your clothes smell like _Shieße_!" To which he responded with no humor with "I **_haven't,_** " and "I **_know_**." Simon however had yet to leave the pizzeria and sat down at one of the tables, in his uniform so he didn't look like a creeper. A hand was lain upon his shoulder, and he almost jumped twelve feet in the air!

"Sup imposter!" Simon turned around, to see a spindly man with wiry arms and legs. And a... Off.. Smile on his face, and bags under his eyes. He, with no humor to it, looked like he hadn't slept in MONTHS. "HEILIGE SCHEISSE , warum musst du mich so erschrecken !? Und wer zum Teufel bist du eigentlich ?!" (HOLY SHIT, why must you scare me like that!? And who the hell are you anyway!?) the man seemed suddenly impressed. "Wow, boss told me a German was working here, thought he was joking. Eh."

"Well, I'm Mike. Mike Schmidt." He wore the standard uniform, the one Jeremy wore as well. Again, Simon and Mike's uniforms were of different color. Simon's was a dark grey, while Mike and Jeremy's were light blue. "You?" Simon realized he wanted Simon's name, so.. He gave it to him in the best way possible. "Simon Rheinmetall." However, it actually sounded like he said "Smon Rhentile." Simon twisted his tongue, and tried again. Failed miserably. Mike started chuckling.

Simon called out "Oh Fick dich!" (Oh fuck you!) and tried again, to no avail. Mike started laughing, and some attention was drawn from the show the robot's were putting on, to Simon and Mike. Simon continued trying to say his name in a manner as to where Mike would understand, as Simon was used to saying it quietly, and not having to scream it over very loud music. Some kids started laughing at Simon.

Simon, however serious, was not completely mute to humor. He started laughing himself, and tried again. "Somonon Rhooomtel!" Now all the attention in the room was on Simon, everyone laughing, even some parents had joined in. Those who weren't laughing or mocking him were smiling. Finally Simon slammed his hands against the table, and ran into the kitchen, after holding up a "Pause for a sec!" Finger.

He walked back out with a pencil and paper, and wrote in very big letters "Simon Rhienmetall" and flashed the almost SIGN. Multiple "ooooh's" passed through the room. Some parents laughed at his feigned anger as he ran off to get the note pad still. The animatronics who were now struggling for attention were not nearly as happy with the situation. The humanoid animatronics (oh yeah guys, HUMAN! Animatronics)

Wore angered expressions.

Normally, they were always nice to beginner employee's... Bar the nightguards. Simon had already managed to piss them off. This wasn't good, this wasn't good at all. Simon "stormed off" to his office, though smiling as his back was to everyone as he walked. Finally the hour was 7:00. Everyone started leaving. Simon came out of the office, and looked for Mike. Wow, he'd sat in the same place for three hours! Simon walked up, and took the seat next to Mike.

"So wurde mir gesagt, diese animatroni in der Nacht bewegen.." (So I was told these animatronics move at night) Mike understood not Simon's word, but his face. He knew what Simon was asking because Simon looked unimpressed, completely bored. He didn't see the three pairs of eyes burning into his back. Because they had humanoid forms, it was kind of hard to tell they were supposed to be animals. Well, Simon recognized them immediately either way.

Mike looked at him grimly. "Who told you, _Smith_?" Simon shuddered, then squinted "Who _Smith_?" Mike shook himself like he was trying to keep awake. "Sorry, who told you, SIMON." Simon held up his speculative squint against the sheepish American. Finally Mike held his hands up defensively and said "Fine, fine, I was just remembering the name of a former night guard. Well.. Not former, he's working at a sister location."

Mike shuddered as he said "Sister Location" and Simon threw the detail away as another good play toward this sick joke. These animatronics were dangerous. Hell no, just no. Mike leaned back up in his seat and said "Well aside from Smith, yes they do come alive at night," Mike stood up and slapped Simon on the shoulder. "And it's your shift. Walk up to me tommorow and tell me they don't move, fritzie." Simon shot out of his seat "Who is _Fritz_?" Mike facepalmed, and just kept walking, leaving Simon standing there, left hanging.

Simon turned to the animatronics. "Mien gott!," (my God!) Simon ran into the kitchen again, and came out carrying a sponge and a bucket of water. He ran up to the animatronics, and started cleaning them starting with the rabbit. Big, BIG guy in a purple vest with bunny ears. Light purple slacks and an almost blue undershirt under the purple vest. Black shoes. Simon ran the sponge along his head, collecting a frickton of dirt. "Es sieht aus wie Sie steigen beleuchtet wurden und jemand versucht, Sie mit einem Hammer heraus zu setzen .." (It looks like you were set alight and someone tried to put you out with a hammer..)

Simon continued scrubbing until the man built in purple looked brand spanking new! "Gut gemacht!" (Good Job!) Next, Simon moved to the bear. He was working his way to the bear's head, and saw a giant arse handprint on his forehead, and one on his brown vest. One greenish.. Moldy, the other red, bloody red. A GIANT handprint on his chest. Like.. A Nicholas Brenemir sized handprint.. "Holy Shiesse.." The other one was a Jacob Fitzeres sized handprint...

Simon imagined the scenario's..

 _Jacob, a small, freckled young man, lifted above the bear's head, being chocked, Jacob gasping for air, struggling, swatting the bear's face, before dying, or getting stabbed, judging by the massive blood splatter on the front of Jacob's uniform.._

 _Nicholas punching at the bear, before getting swarmed by all of the animatronics, shoved into a wall, one fetching a kitchen knife and stabbing him... Good GOD._

Simon had to GET OUT OF HERE. NOW. The clock ticked. Simon looked to the clock, and saw it was 10:42. He could never quit that fast. He didn't want his first day in America spent as a liar and cheater, slacking as an absentee on his job. He continued cleaning the bear, regardless of his supposed crimes he committed against the staff..

He finished, but still couldn't get the handprint out. Finally he was to work on the chicken. Yeesh, do you need any more a suggestive theme? Too many curves! TOO MANY CURVES, Simon decided to keep his manly dignity to himself, and didn't clean.. THERE, or.. THERE, and ignored.. THOSE, spots in general. He just cleaned around the face, stomach, feet, and back. Finally it was 11:56, and Simon realized this a little late, and when he noticed, he yelled out a " _OH SHIESSE!_ " And booked it to the office.

Simon made it there two minutes early, even though to any of the other staff, that would've been a two minute RUN, Simon's sheer "NOPE" had helped him get there undeterred. Simon silently shat himself in the office chair, finicky. "Ficken, ficken, ficken, ficken..." (Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck..) he jumped around the office, straightened objects, and sat down, not seeing anything clearly.

 ** _RING_**!

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!** "

Simon had jumped twenty feet in the air and nearly hit his head on the ficken ceiling!

 ** _RING_** ,

 ** _RING_** ,

 ** _RING_** ,

" _Halt end ficken up schon ! Du hast mir fast ein verdammt Herzinfarkt !_ " (Shut the fuck up already! You nearly gave me a damn heart attack!) Simon finally sat back down in his chair.

"Hello? Hello?"

 **Now, THE CHAPTER IS OVEEEEEER! How do you guys like Simon when he's scared shiesseless? I love writing Simon, and yes, Jacob and Nicholas will make an appearance later. Actually, phone Guy's been dead a while, and well.. Someone had to make new tapes.**


	3. First Night

Karmic Retribution

Chapter 3 of that one shot that was supposed to be a one shot!

 **Hello, The Man Who Speaks In Hands here! Here's that third chapter for Simon! Night one may be rough or easy, I may never know. Well, I'm writing this after being awake throughout the night (As I start this document right now, it's 6:03 AM.) So if it's crap, notify me, I'll redo it better! Oh yeah, and phone Guy's been dead a while, so guess who's doing the calls?**

Simon was scared shiesseless. He sat, durp-faced in the chair, looking around the room for consolations. The man on the phone finally started speaking instead of yelling "Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?" Over and over again.

The man on the phone said "Hello. I am Nicholas Brenemir," Simon gasped. Nicholas was _alive_! "This is my last week on this job, so.. I want the next guy to have a good idea what to expect." Oh. These were recorded a while ago then... He had a deep Russian accent. "Now, first, you should have a tablet on your desk, infront of you, Da?" Simon looked at the desk, and sure enough, there was a tablet.

Simon picked it up and clicked it on. Immediately there was a camera feed, quite fuzzy. "On tablet, camera is in restaurant. See, animatronics come off stage, and come toward office, and.. You don't want to know what happens next," Simon flicked through the feeds. "So use tablet to track animatronic's movements, Da?" Simon mocked Nicholas "Da this, Da that, the ficken does Da mean?!" Simon was growing frustrated. None of the animatronics had moved yet.

Nicholas continued on "Those doors to your left and right are for protection. And only used for that purpose, and only when necessary!" Simon turned to the phone, and screamed "IS AVOIDANCE OF DEATH A NECESSITY!?" Before returning to the tablet. The German flicked through the feeds, terrified of what he would see when he did see them move.. How fast they moved. What they would do if Simon screwed up...

 _Simon already heard bones crunching.. Sickening, dark laughter. Squishing noises. A loud FWUMP._

Wait...

A loud FWUMP? Oh shit!

Simon shuddered. Nicholas continued "See, when animatronic at door, shut it quick. You may have limited time to address them. I fear someday even I might not do it quick enough, but whatever. I'm trying to keep YOU alive." Simon had to admit, Nicholas obviously wished to be a hero, wished to save lives, wished to protect. Must've been a good guy. Simon wondered what Nicholas looked like.

Simon looked around the rooms, and finally saw the rabbit/guy/thing, moving. And it was terrifying. The joints were very hard to see... Hell.. There didn't appear to be any.. Eh, must be really expensive animatronics. Simon saw it look directly into the camera, probably the red light attracting its attention. Simon let out a couple "No! Shoo! Shoo!"'s, and his blood turned to dry ice when it SMILED, and leaned it's head, closed its eyes. The camera feed went screwy, and the rabbit was GONE.

Simon searched the Camera feeds exasperatedly, searching relentlessly for the rabbit. It had seemed Nicholas had hung up but they he popped back in and said "Oh da, and the camera's only have two blind spots, which are your doors! You may only have seconds to react. Ok, good luck whoever you are!" And finally Nicholas hung up. Simon finally found the rabbit in the supply closet, looking at the camera, smiling. Nicholas called back again, the ringing scaring Simon. "Oh yeah, P.P.S, The top button on door makes door shut. Bottom button makes light flash. Good good luck."

The feed went whacko again, and Simon slowly reached his hand toward the bottom light. Simon finally touched the button and saw the form of the rabbit right outside the door. Simon threw his entire body weight against the button, and the door slammed shut. "WARUM SIND Anima GEEIGNET FREIEN UND FREI willed HOMOCIDE OHNE MOTIVE ! WARUM GIBT ES EIN ACHT FOOT TALL RABBIT außerhalb dieser IRON BLAST DOOR CAST !? WARUM BIN ICH HIER!?" (WHY ARE ANIMATRONICS CAPABLE OF FREE MOVEMENT AND FREE WILLED HOMOCIDE WITH NO MOTIVE! WHY IS THERE AN EIGHT FOOT TALL RABBIT OUTSIDE THIS CAST IRON BLAST DOOR!? WHY AM I HERE!?)

 ** _BONNIE's POV!_**

Woah. Dang, I just wanted to say hi! (And thank him for the bath, thank goodness!) I glare at that stupid phone! Every other night guard, the last one says bad things about us making us look like killers! Sigh.. And now he's screaming in gibberish. I've never seen one go insane that fast before.. Huh. I can see him crying on the floor, the door on the other hall closed. Hmmph. The kids love us, why can't the grown do it as well? Well, he's got combed back blond hair, a grey uniform unlike the other two (Mike and Jeremy)

Simon Rhienmetall, ey? Strange name. How he wrote such a large name on such a small name tag amazes me. Yeah.. He's still crying. I mean, if I were in his position, thinking an eight foot tall bunny were coming to murder me, and had just given me the scare of my life, I'd probably cry too. He stands up, and walks over to the window I'm watching him through, and points at me and says "Shoo! Git!" He isn't demanding, he's pleading. I guess if you watch a grown man cry for five minutes straight, I guess I'd want privacy too.

 ** _NOW BACK TO SIMON_**.

'Damn rabbits!' Simon is still sniffling. God, how can you create something so cruel? Simon sniffles. Simon opens the door the rabbit nearly gave him a heart attack through, and looks to the other door that he'd closed to lean against. Simon had not seen the chicken looking quite confused. He had not seen the chicken shrug, and then walk away either.

 ** _It was about two AM now._**

Simon paced the office after opening both doors. He decided to explore the camera's a little more, see if there were anything more to see than what he'd seen. The bear still stood on the stage, staring at the camera, smiling. "Look away!" Simon was starting to get into English! He could only really do the two word sentences, but whatever.

 ** _It was about Four AM now._**

No one had came near the office for a long period of time so far! Simon sat, his heart rate starting to slow, starting to feel better. There had only been one attempt on his life that night! Good! Simon also thanked God that he was inside the building because he hadn't found a place to stay. It appeared when Simon left in the morning he would just walk around the entire day, and come back at night. But.. His schedule constantly swapped off with Mike! He would have to see to that..

Simon decided to take it upon himself to find a place to stay tomorrow! His parents had been citizens of America, that was why he didn't have to go through five hundred years of naturalization. His parents were deceased. He didn't have any relatives that he knows of in the United States...

Whatever. Simon looked around the small office, and looked at the tablet once more, not seeing much of Interest other than the chicken approaching the office, and the rabbit in the back. Simon closed the door just as suddenly as the chicken arrived. "Verpiss dich , ich habe keine Zeit, um mit Ihnen zu beschäftigen ! ... bitte geh.." (Piss off, I have no time to deal with you!... Please leave...)

It looked at Simon questioningly. He seemed to be pleading or questioning on his last words. Through the window it smiled, tilted its head, and closed its eyes. A look of gratitude. Simon just knitted his eyebrows and squinted in response. Simon looked down at the tablet, ignoring the chicken. She-IT, Simon, IT, tapped on the glass. "Hey!" Simon fell out of the spinny chair screaming. IT SPOKE!? Simon saw something red shooting down the hall at top speed, and he ran to shut the door, making it just in time.

 **WHAAAAAAAAAMN**..

he heard some assorted clutter and some more banging, and then

 **BANG**.

 **BANG**.

 **BANG**.

Simon looked to see the chicken with a hand over its mouth, looking concerned, yet trying to hide laughter. Simon took it the wrong way, glared at it in anger, and was about to flip it off when suddenly

 ** _KEEEEEEEEESE_**...

The deafening scratching made Simon fall to his knees and cover his ears, yelling " **HAAAAAAAAAAALT! BITTE! MACH, DASS ES AUFHÖRT**!" (STOOOOOOOOOP! Please! Make it stop!) when it finally ceased, Simon turned to see a scratch along the left window opposite the chicken's window. It was more of a CUT on the glass, like someone, an incredibly strong person/thing, had jabbed a knife into the glass, and slid it along until taking it out. It sounded like nails on a chalkboard! The sound made Simon's teeth hurt..

Simon heard a very loud

" **DANGGGG DOOOOONGGGGG, DIIIIIIIIING DWIIIIIIIIING..."** And the chicken had disappeared. Simon looked at the clock in his office, and saw it was six AM. Simon heard a car parking outside, and he heard a car door open and slam shut. Simon walked out into the halls, peering into every nook and cranny he knew existed. He saw Mike walking in, a smirk on his face, like this was funny. Like this didn't mean anything. Like Simon hadn't nearly died last night. Simon ran up and grabbed Mike around his shirt collar, and lifted him into the air (which is weird looking, because Simon is two inches shorter and weighs forty less pounds)

"WOAH, WOAH, WOOAAAAH! PUT ME DOWN SIMON!" Simon's eyes were practically red with anger. " **I'm gonna fucking kill you Mike!** " Mike had already wriggled out of Simon's grasp, and was looking at him, a laughing look in his eyes. "Oh. So I was right. They do move, _don't they?_ " Mike already knew the answer, he was just being a dick. "DAMN RIGHT THEY DO! They tried to kill me! Something red and doing Mach Five nearly got in the office!" Mike raised an eyebrow "So I see you've met Foxy, huh?" "Who the ficken is Foxy!?" Mike shrugged. "Probably the red thing doing Mach Five."

Simon was ready to just beat Mike into the ground now. He wanted ANSWERS. Not smart-assed-commentary. "Why is this happening Mike?!" Mike shrugged. "Hell if I know. All I know is they really don't like guys like you and me." Simon looked at Mike incredulously "There is a worlds difference between us, **_SCHMIDT_**." He said Mike's last name with such spite, if there had been anymore, Michael Schmidt would have burst into flames.

Simon was stuttering, in tears now. "Why would no one tell me what they did?" Mike chuckled "I did. Kate did." Simon glared at Mike. "You did not 'warn' me. You told me they moved. That's all you told me. Kate just said they weren't exactly friendly." Mike smiled for a solid thirty seconds. "EARTH TO SCHMIDT, EARTH TO SCHMIDT!" Mike snapped back to reality and blurted out "Understatement of the fucking year, Simon." Understatement indeed.

 **CHAPTER OVER PEEPS, ENJOY IT! Please review, I love writing this story! Heheh, I actually have it planned out to the end, unlike all of my other stories! This is gonna do great!**

Btw, it took an hour and 53 minutes to write this.


	4. Girl Problems

**Karmic Retributio** n

 **Chapter 4 of that one shot that was gonna be a one shot! Hey, I got this story down now, plot and everything, my first planned out story! All my others are just off my head btw, HOORA! Ok, Lego's.**

Simon stared at Mike furiously, who was still smirking. "So we just gonna stand here for twelve hours until my next shift and get eyed down by the customers or are we gonna move eventually?" Mike asked, sarcastically. Simon shrugged, still glaring at Mike, but other people were glaring at Mike too.. Well.. Not people. Chica glared at the man. "He doesn't deserve that badge. What a poor excuse for a guard.." She said in the telecommunications/chat room the animatronics shared. The other two animatronics replied with "Amen." And the fox just said "Wheh t'eh Fock there two now?!"

Mike finally grabbed Simon's shoulder and said "You wanna get some breakfast? You must be starving, you haven't ate shit since you got off that damned boat!" Simon looked down, did a steady slide with his head, and finally looked back up and nodded.

The two walked out, and saw Mike's '76 Chevy Camaro, painted red, two large golden stripes go over the top of the hood, ceiling, and trunk. Mike looks at it with pride in his eyes.

Simon jogs to the passenger side door, and looks at the door a little bit while Mike walks over. Simon thought about English, how to speak it. Hmmph. Mike finally made it to the driver's side and unlocks both doors. "Hop in, Fitzeres." "Who's Fitzeres?" Mike stutters "Uh-Uh, I mean Rhienmetall, Rheinmetall." Simon squints at Mike for a second, before finally getting into the car.

"Heheh, I love this thing!" Mike starts the car, and "HILFE!" (HELP!) Simon cuts off the author! Simon almost got blasted into the back seat by the AC! Mike started laughing out loud, before turning the Air Conditioning down. "Hehe, never set THIS fucker to twenty." Mike continue's laughing, while Simon gets back up, blown onto the console. He looked at Mike like he was insane "WHO THE- HOW THE- FICKEN!" (Ficken=Fuck. Memorize this now.)

Mike looks at Simon, STILL LAUGHING. "I got a AC system off some farmer, said this could keep a house cooled after a NAPALM ROUND went off inside! He wasn't wrong, heheh." Mike's phone started ringing (his ringtone is Megalovania played on the trombone) he immediately answered "Yeah?" "So?" "Sure!" They took off. Mike turned his head to Simon. "Gotta pick up my girl, this'll take a minute or two."

The two men soon arrived at an apartment complex, and Mike got out, turned, and told Simon "Stay here, I gotta go get her, stay. Here. I don't wanna go on a wild-curious-German-hunt." Simon nodded, somehow understanding, and looked around the car. Simon saw in the console, there was a roll of quarters, a lighter, and a cloth. In the backseat, there was nothing much, but.. Was that a handle? "Der ficken?" (The fuck?) he pulled the handle and the entire piece it was attached to came down, and Simon felt underneath, and his hand came back with..

 **A TEN GUAGE SHOT GUN!?** Simon gasped. He looked to his left and right, and shoved it back into its place, and closed the compartment, and "Oh SHIESSE!" Fell into the backseat.. He stood/sat back up, and saw Mike coming with a woman with blonde hair, a blue jacket, red jeans (wtf?) and grey sneakers. She opened the passenger side door, saw Simon and screamed. Mike laughed and said "So I see you've met Simon."

Simon blushed after she yelled "Why is there a hobo named Simon in your car!?" She didn't seem to be joking in any way possible, so it kind of hurt Simon. Simon just leaned down in the seat and attempted to shrink. He didn't succeed. Mike saw Simon and looked at the woman, and back to Simon "Look Amanda, you've hurt the German's feelings! He's only been here a day, and he hasn't eaten shit since he's gotten off the boat!" She seemed to soften when she saw the look on Simon's face.

She smiled, blushed and said "Sorry.. Uh.. Hmm.. My Germans a bit rusty.." She seemed to also want to disappear like Simon now. She got into the car, and so did Mike. She was a short woman. Not midget short, but short. The atmosphere was kind of toxic because of how not mad but sad she'd made the man, and Mike couldn't really scold his girlfriend (whom even if you knocked his knees out from under him with a bat, wouldn't call his girlfriend. He's really embarrassed by her)

Soon though, she, Amanda, said "Yeah.. Sorry. What part of Germany are you from?" He turned to her "... Stuttgart." Mike turned to him "That's vague as shit Simon, heh." "Fellbach." Mike turned around. "Y'know, this could turn into a full on conversation if you stopped making one word replies."

Eventually, IN SILENCE, they made it to a restaurant. Not just any restaurant. Freddy Fazbears Pizzeria of course! When they walked in, Simon covered his ears. "Ow, Shiesse, that's loud!" Amanda turned to Simon and sneered "Aww, is it that quiet in Germanyyyy?" Simon glared at her. She turned and held Mike up like a human shield.

He didn't know, but she also pushed him forward and continued using him as a shield. She then went up to the cashier, cursed the thirty-two-looking girl off, and then ordered, whilst calling the girl dumb. Simon recognized her.. It's Kate! When Amanda got done "ordering" and walked away. Simon walked up and told her "That Woman, I know, she doesn't deserve that title, is Mike's girl. I think he's just her puppet though.. She is using him very expierencedly.. She's done this to guys before.." Kate shrugged.

Simon walked away with a genuine salute, which a couple 12 year olds laughed at, before he walked away. Simon saw the two in front of the soda fountain, Mike and Amanda fussing, her trying to get him to spend his employee discount on a SODA, not the pizza, and she tugged harder on the cup, and-

 **SMACK**!

The entire restaurant went silent. Even Freddy and the band shut up.

Holy shit! She slapped Mike, HARD. She stuck her tongue out at him, and filled the cup with root beer, put a lid on, and sat at a table. Mike looked like he'd been SHOT and was just standing there like a statue. Simon jogged over to Mike "Woah! Mike? You ok?" There was a red mark and a bruise forming on the Mike's left cheek.. And there was a bruise on the right side of his face too.. This had happened before!

Mike nodded his head ten or eleven times, and Simon had to walk Mike back to the table, because Mike staggered toward the table when Simon had tried to go to the table. Mike sat down, and looked at her. There were tears forming on his face. Simon rolled his eyes and thought 'Mama's boy/Ladies man..' But kept his opinion to himself. Mike looked to be leaning over to put his head in his arms, but.. Spat out two teeth instead. Amanda wore a concerned mask, and asked "Oh! Are you ok sweetie?" Mike nodded, sniffling.

Mike pulled the bill of his hat down over his eyes.

The animatronics on stage were discussing the events of a minute ago, through telecommunications! "Geez.." Freddy seemed livid "He may be bad.. But he just spat out teeth! Why isn't the new guy doing anything!?" Chica seemed exasperated "I've seen this before.. If he tries to get away she'll get him killed or do it herself. She terrifies him. She was lying when she asked if he was alright! Why would he nod!?" Foxy seemed joyful "Karma YE DUMB BASTAD!" Bonnie just dropped his jaw and uttered "Duuuuuuuuuude.."

She tapped Mike on the forehead with her index finger and he flinched and sat up, eyes red around the edges. Simon had to admit, he could cry very discretely. Simon hadn't even heard him, not a peep. Mike was hiding like a cat in a box. He wanted to disappear. The man of pride, a security guard, is terrified by the tiny woman of 5'2 and no muscle.. Then again, DAMN can she give a slap.

Simon stood up, grabbed Amanda around the shoulders "The fuck?" And dragged her outside, kicking and screaming. No one stopped the night watchman. He tossed her out the door, and kicked her in the stomach, seven times, for each syllable "NEVER," **WHAM** , "HURT", **WHAM** , "MICHAEL," **WHAM** , "SCHMIDT," **WHAM** , "AGAIN!," **WHAM**! Simon had a childhood memory at this moment

" _And never come back, Dischenger!" Simon's circle of friends leaned back off the downed bully. The bully had been picking on Simon and his circle of friends since the beginning of the year. Well, now he was on the floor with some muddy footprints on his face, legs, torso, everywhere. The bully spat out a little blood._

 _The bully kicked the legs out from under Simon, and pinned him, but Simon had his hands, and was doing a backwards push up, holding the larger student above him. He rolled so the bully was on the bottom, pushed one of the bully's hands down, his elbow came with a crash, and Dischenger's left arm was no more. Simon pummeled his face, over, over, over, until one of his friends pulled him off Dischenger._

 _He was out cold, knocked the fuck out. Broken arm, nose, a couple teeth, one or two RIBS, Dischenger would be in the hospital for a month at least. Thing was this was the last day of the year. The school system couldn't do anything to him. Simon stood, looking at what had once been proud as hell Rafiel Dischenger. The group of six walked away, leaving the broken and battered bully behind._

Simon's flashback ended. Amanda was limping away and flipping off Simon, and Mike was trying to keep Simon from chasing Amanda. "Never come back, bitch!" She then yelled out "Screw you Mike, and your little friend too!" Simon yelled back "BITE ME!" She limped down the street. Mike looked at Simon, the way a little kid looks at a super hero. "How the hell did you do that?" Simon leaned and put his hands on his knees "I pushed the bitch down and kicked her. Simple, Schmidt."

Mike looked at him again "Shit man, I gotta find a new one now, hehe.. Oh shit.." Mike sat down against the wall, and Simon took the spot next to him. Kate walked out. Saw the blood on Simon's shoes, nodded, and sat down next to the duo. "Mike, it's your shift tonight. Simon.. Uh.." Simon nodded "I have no home." Kate looked up "You can stay at my place.. Just.. Uh.. You'll sleep on the couch." Simon fistpumped.

Mike walked in, after being wished to be careful by both employee's. Simon got in Kate's car, a silver cavalier. "Car is tiny.." Kate laughed. "That accent of yours ruins everything you say in English, doesn't it?" "Nein.. But whenever I speak German people think I'm mad." "True."

 **CHAPTER OVER, WHOO! Simon can kick ass. Mike needs a new girl. Kate is awesome. She drives a tiny silver cavalier. Spin those oreo's! (I'm talking about the wheels, though they're more like dimes. Well, whatever.) Ask questions if you want in the reviews, have a good time!**


	5. UPDATE (important as hell!)

Karmic Retribution

An UPDATE of that one shot that was gonna be a one shot, but isn't. I have come to a dicision everyone! This story will answer questions about itself through the characters! And more. Basically, you can...

1) Ask any of the character's QUESTIONS, but BE. WARNED. You might get an answer like "In Time, m'friend." Or "uh.. I'm not comfortable with that.."

2) You can INTERACT with any of the characters (please be mature about it, the most affectionate thing you can do is a HUG. Anything more and it will be ignored and deleted)

3\. I'm not sure if this will work, but I think you could introduce your OC to the characters. Again, nothing completely immature about them. Capiche?

4\. Have fun, but not.. Too much fun. I don't want eight paragraphs of questions per review/PM.

6\. (ask questions through PM or Review, please. PM for anonymous, Review for Author Name)

And finally, Simon, yes, you can ask Simon questions. But if you ask about his deportation, don't expect anything above a sigh and a out-of-date-pop-culture-reference.

These will be after EVERY CHAPTER. I'm putting them in between chapter's. At the end of the story, there WONT be another Q/A. :). This is starting on Chapter Five. Err.. BEFORE chapter five, so it becomes comfortable and not clunky, so questions about chapters 1, 2, 3, and 4. Or just saying things to any of the characters, like comments to them (I wonder how many feminists will scream in Simon's face and how many regular people will congratulate Simon about the near ending of chapter 4.)

Oh yeah, and my productivity is gonna be a bit low. I got jumped coming home from school last Friday,

I now have 14 stitches on the left side of my head, and whoever it was now has a bloody LouisVille Slugger.

dont ask.


	6. Simon's got life on his mind

Karmic Retribution

 **Chapter 5 of that one shot that isn't a one shot! Hoora, I'm finally back to writing. Sorry guys, I got jumped recently (I got 14 stitches, and this guy now has a bloody LouisVille Slugger, and a seriously screwed up jaw) and I hadn't fared well. I'm finally back.**

Simon walked into Kate's apartment. "Well, it may not be expansive, but it's home." Simon however was looking around with wonder in his eyes. "Is every American home like this?" "No. Some even bigger, some smaller." Simon looked around still, searching every nook and cranny for excitement. This kinda sucked, a good friend losing their girlfriend because of him, and then watching him walk off to his possible death.

Simon sat down on the couch. He heard popping from another room. "What's that noise?" Kate shouted from the kitchen "Popcorn! Hold up, I'll be right there!" Two minutes later, Kate walked in carrying a bag, held with two fingers, and it was steaming. "Feuer!" (fire!) Simon shot off the couch, standing up. "Nah, nah, Simon, it's bag-popped-popcorn." She tore open that bag, and the steam plumed out, with what Simon recognized as popcorn inside.

Ten minutes later, they were watching the a movie, on opposite sides of the sofa.

 **MEANWHILE AT THE PIZZERIA**

Mike continued checking the monitor, and heard foot steps.. INSIDE THE OFFICE. Mike's red flags went-a-flyin', and he knew exactly what to do. He just stopped moving. Stood completely still, **_DONT. MOVE. A. MUSCLE._** Bonnie sat on the other side of the tablet. "C'mon! _Pull down the taaableeeeet.._ " Bonnie whispered.

" **NOT. TONIGHT. BONNIE.** " Mike said through gritted teeth, angered. Bonnie put three fingers over the top of the tablet, and tried to pull out down. To both animatronic and human's surprise, Mike was stronger and kept himself facing the tablet. "LET GO OF IT SCHMIDT!" Sure, Mike almost pissed himself, but didn't look up but yelled "Never!" Bonnie yanked on the tablet, but Mike clung to the tablet like it was the only thing keeping him alive, which it was.

Bonnie tugged on the tablet again, to no avail. "Siiiiigh, I didn't want it to come to this, schitface." (Yes, Bonnie calls Mike Schitface when he's mad) " _FREEEEEDDYYYYYY_ , MIKE WONT PUT THE TABLET _DOOOOWN_!" In a whiny tone. From the dining room Mike heard Freddy shout "Put it down, Schmidt!" Mike shouted back "No!" Mike's arms started to hurt a bit. Damn you, five pound tablet! "Mike, I'll hug you quickly if you put it down RIGHT. NOW." Bonnie said as if it were a good deal. Mike looked perplexed, and just went back to grappling for the tablet.

 **Meanwhile at Kate's house.**

"AND THEN I KICKED HIS ASS!" Kate swung her foot out for emphasis. "Ja." Simon didn't seem impressed. Simon leaned in, rested his elbow on the coffee table, held up an index finger. "Want real story? Here real story," she leaned back onto the couch, listening. "Remember how I kick Mike's abusive girlfriend ass?" "Yeah?" "I had memory, sorta blacked out."

Simon explained what happened. "On third kick, I had.. What you call it, Flashback?" "Yeah?" " I have flashback to when I was in sixth grade.. A bully by name of Rafael Dischenger picked upon me and my group of friends. Stuck gum in hair, pushed in hall, made life hell in general, Ja?" Kate nodded. "At end of year, after he beat the shit out of my friend, Keith, and we cornered him during his seventh period, he was going for restroom."

"I push him down, kick him in side of torso where rib doesn't cover, then Nicholas, then Jikrol, then Ivan, then Jason, then Wolfgang, and the cycle repeated. Cycle repeated seventeen times. _We kicked him 112 times._ I did the math.." Kate just sorta looks at Simon. "Do you regret it?" Simon turned his head 'no.' "Not at all. Bastard cornered us in the halls sometimes, and well, by the end of it, we were normally all out of lunch money, patience, and fucks to give."

 **MEANWHILE AT THE PIZZERIA...**

Bonnie is still trying to pry the tablet from Mike's hands. A certain humanoid Chicken arrived, and Mike offered her a quick glance before going back to wrestling with the tablet. The upside of the tablet being five pounds is that it is tough as shit. Shoot it, the bullet probably wouldn't dent the screen. Amazingly durable tablet.

Chica just watched from the doorway, laughing at them. "Shut up!" Bonnie whined. "Hehehe." She continued chuckling at him. Finally, Freddy arrived at the other door and watched, laughing alongside Chica as Bonnie fruitlessly tugged on the tablet. "Freddy, this guy's got a death grip! Help me here!" "Aww but then I won't get to see you look dumb anymore.." Bonnie groaned, and tugged on the tablet as hard as he could, and it still had no effect. Mike's face was pale. This rabbit got the tablet away from him, he was dead.

Freddy walked up, shoved Bonnie out of the way, and grabbed onto the tablet. Mike's teeth were chattering. His knuckles were white. His toes were crossed. Pants were about to be pissed/shat. Knees clicked together. Shirts wrinkled.

* **pluck** *

Freddy just took the tablet from Mike like taking candy from a child (though Freddy would pound you down like a railroad spike if he ever found out you did.) and Mike screamed, jumped up from his seat, and ran like hell. He couldn't even make out which door he'd shot through, he was just gone. Already halfway down the hallway. Next thing Mike knew, he was face up on the floor, neck aching. All went black.

 **Meanwhile at Kate's home**.

The movie and conversation were finished, and Kate went to her room, and Simon resided in the couch. Simon looked to the ceiling and thought of America. He thought of his job. He thought of other places in America. He thought about movies. He DREAMED. He dreamed of swimming in money, buying everything he ever wanted, pissing in the faces of the jury who sent him to America, then bitch slapping them with Duestchmark's.

He dreamt of where to go later. After he'd made it in America. Where to next. How. When. He then leaned over, and whispered to himself. "I feel like a million euro's.." Before attempting to fall asleep on the old sofa. He thought of the Russian on the boat. What was his name? Simon's eye's shot open. Ivan. Ivan Cheqknovik. An assisting character in the beating of Rafael Dischenger, and a good friend. Neither of them noticed the other.

Simon wondered where Ivan was. He leaned up, throwing off his covers, and got dressed. It was 5:49 AM. Simon didn't bother waking up Kate, and walked to the pizzeria. He arrived at 5:58. "Boy Mike'll be happy to see me!" Simon smiled. He opened the doors with his keys, and saw the animatronics on stage. Simon checked his watch. 5:59. Simon's eyes went wide. Simon ran to the office, and found Mike passed out in the spinny chair, a large bump on his forehead, like he'd been hit over the head with a big stick.

Simon dragged Mike out into the parking lot, and pulled out Mike's phone, struggled for a minute, found out how to a speed-dial works, and called Kate. "Mike's hurt! Help! Get down here!" "Oh shit be right there!" The second Simon saw the silver cavalier, he knew it was probably gonna be OK.

It ended with Mike in the hospital for two days, receiving treatment for a neck injury, a head injury, and two leg injuries, and a spinal injury.

 **Meanwhile on animatronic telecommunications,**

"FOXY WHAT THE FUCK!?" "I do'n know! I stuck me arm ou' the Cove, and next thing I know, there's a twenty four year old on de floor!" "FOXY WHAT THE FUCK!?" "Sorry for clothslinin' the guard.. He fell really hard.."

 **Hoora, the chapter's over! Tell me everyone, how was this one? I thought it was terrible myself, I worked on it over two weeks through procrastination, and this is all I got outta it.**


	7. I Will Not Stand For This

**Karmic Retribution**

 **Chapter 6 of that one shot that isn't a one shot. Simon is about to well.. Get a surprise. Mike is gonna have problems in the hospital**

Simon sat at the desk in the office, face down in his arms, not crying, just.. Thinking. Taking in what he'd been thinking off while dragging Mike out into an ambulance. Kate walked in and put her hand on Simon's shoulder "They said he'd make it, Simon. It's only his neck and shoulders!" Simon leaned up "I know, but.. I could've helped more. I know I could.." Kate put her hands on her hips. "The best support you can give him is to take the shift's he'd be doing and remain calm."

Simon stood up, and walked out of the office, and into the parking lot. Mike's '76 Chevy Camaro was still there. Simon walked out, sat on the hood, and looked around. A grey town, full of grey people, with paper personalities. Some of them just lived for the thrills. Some lived for the moment. Some lived to serve. Some lived to give orders. And some lived to DIE, God's cannon fodder. Simon got off the hood of Mike's car, and took off down the street.

 **Meanwhile in the hospital.**

Mike sat in the bed, awaiting the sentence of the symptoms of his fall, that no matter how many people tried to console him, he wouldn't let go of the idea and memory that he'd been cloth's lined, not "tripped." The worst part was that Mike couldn't feel his legs. Good lord, he couldn't even MOVE his legs. He could move his arms, head, everything else. He didn't seem able to move waist down.

A woman walked into the room, and she held a clipboard, though she didn't appear to be a doctor. "Hi, Mr..." Mike caught his cue "Schmidt." "Schmidt, yes, Mr. Schmidt, I have bad news." Mike's eyes grew to the size of plates. "Don't.. Nah.." Mike looked at his legs. She looked away. "You'll need to be in a wheelchair, at most for a year or two.. Actually, I don't know. Maybe even eternally." She seemed empathetic. "Listen, Mr. Schmidt, you may be able to just get around in crutches?"

Mike immediately jumped for that idea. "Crutches, please, crutches! I will not be a kitten again!" She gave him a confused look. Mike sighed. "In the sixth grade I sprained my ankle, and I was in a wheelchair for a while, and a group of seventh grade girls pushed me around, always oohing and awwwwing, so annoying, I will not go through that again. Sometimes they'd just leave me in the hall, and walked around on their phones. Ignored me. I was a puppet. They just accepted the job of monitoring me to mess around."

She empathy flashed across her face. She reached out and shook Mike's hand, "My name's Lori Smith, call for me if you need anything. I'm gonna go get you your crutches." "Now!?" "You seem strong, just to test." Lori came back with.. A wheel chair? Mike glared at her, and she smiled sheepishly. "Oh come on Mr. Schmidt, were out of crutches!" Mike grudgingly got into the wheelchair once she helped him onto it. She got behind Mike and began to push him around.

Mike looked around, seeing the white curtains everywhere, it almost drove him mad. How can a place of healing be so depressingly boring? No one ever seemed to be here. "How many people here?" "34 patients." The hospital wasn't a large, big hospital, it would probably house 100 patients at one time. The time was about 5 in the afternoon. "I don't see why you hate being in a wheelchair, you aren't in the sixth grade anymore." She laughed. "You've probably got a woman to get you around?"

Mike frowned. "She was.. Bad for me. A friend.. Dealt with her, in a not.. Orderly fashion." "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that Mr. Schmidt." Mike turned his head until he could almost see her. "Please stop with that "Sorry to hear about that" bullshit. It's driving me crazy. I know you do this to every guy who comes through with a broken leg or something, just please treat me like I'm NOT a sixth grader." He could FEEL the frown on her face.

Mike sighed again "Sorry.. I'm just.. Pissed off. Some of the bruises on my face aren't from my fall. They were her." Lori chuckled. "Don't let girls like that _push you around, Mr. Schmidt._ " Mike caught the pun, and laughed. "It's Mike." "Mike." "How long?" "What?" "How long were you with her?" Mike frowned. "Five. Months." "Yeesh. You tolerated a girl like that for FIVE MONTHS?" "I KNOW!"

 **Meanwhile with Simon...**

Simon was still walking when he saw four guys in spiked leather sleeveless jackets closing in on some small girl in a green hoodie. Simon stopped, and lifted an eyebrow. He saw one make a grab, which she dodged, and the other one grabbed her arm and yanked on her, she yelled out "Help!" Simon jogged over. "Hey! Pick on someone your own size!" Two turned around "Or what? You'll spit in our general direction?" They were mocking Simon's accent.

Simon looked at the one who'd turned around. Cuts across his face and arms, probably the leader or something. A neck beard, grey and frilled, probably thirty years old. Simon walked forward, slow, heavy steps.

 ** _FWAM_**!

Punched the leader with a haymaker, right in the face. The leader stumbled back, before growling, and rushing at Simon. Simon reached into his pocket, and pulled out his pocket knife.

 ** _FWIP_** **,**

 ** _FWAP_**!

Simon missed his first swing, and the leader hit Simon in the nose, and chose the wrong moment to start chuckling.

 ** _SHUNK_**!

The pocket knife went into the leaders shoulder. He stopped laughing. It was only a two inch long blade, so it didn't do too much damage, but still a big ass cut. Simon's knife was still in the leader's shoulder as he stumbled back and said "Get him! Get that bastard!" The two other gang members charged, the last one still holding the now awed girl.

Simon punched the first member in the gut, second into the nose, and slammed his nose into his knee, and threw him onto the pavement. The other gang member pulled out a M911, and pointed it at Simon. Simon ran and tackled him, and the pistol clattered on the ground, Simon grabbed it and repeatedly pistol whipped the gang member of whom he had pinned underneath him. Simon stopped when the gang member was out cold. Turns out, the pistol was on safety. Stupid man.

The last gang member holding the girl ran, and the leader now stood, knife pulled out of his shoulder. The leader held up his hands, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! You can have her, just.. Go away!" He leader crumpled into a ball on the ground. Simon yelled "DAMN RIGHT YOUR SORRY FAT BASTARD! GO TO HELL!" Simon grabbed the woman by the arm, and made it five steps before Simon fell to the ground, passing out from exhaustion.

Simon woke up two hours later, in some strange home, on the couch under a blanket with a glass of water on the coffee table infront of him. "Huh?" The girl from earlier walked in. "Hi.. Guy!" She smiled at him. She was slim, with a tiny build. She looked to be twenty-twenty three. "I'm Cathy, uh.. Thanks for.. That." She chuckled awkwardly. "So what's your name, anti-gangbanger-German-guy?" "Simon Rhienmetall.. Where am I?" She smiled "My friends house, uh.. I.. I got your knife." She handed him his knife.

He frowned "No, keep it. Those assholes ever mess with you again, present them with this. They'll know exactly what to think." "Thanks! Uh question.. You reacted a little quick to that, why'd you jump in?" Simon put his hand over his face. "I watched my mother get shoved around by the mob back home.. I came here to escape that.. Got too deep in the Deutsch mob. I wasn't about to let that happen again." "Hey, anywhere you wanna go? You've earned it." "Please just get me to Freddy Fazbear's pizza. I'm gonna miss my shift."

Turns out the girl owned a lime green thunderbird. "So, Cathy, how'd you end up getting cornered by them?" "Oh you know, a jerky, band of assholes hoping to get some free ass. They're everywhere, alongside the muggers." In the case of life, Simon was divided. Life in America was beautiful but deadly, pretty like shattered glass but dangerous like a black widow. Sweet like honey, but evil lay underneath the skin. Such as life in the United States as in Germany.

 **Well damn, Simon, you're a great philosopher! Sadly we don't need those anymore, CHAPTER IS OVER! Review, I think this one's pretty good. Onward to victory!**


	8. Hello, Hi, I'm here Second Night

Karmic Retribution

 **Chapter 7 of that one shot that isn't a one shot. Well, Simon's taking over Mike's shift's for the rest of the week, unless something.. Say.. Amazing happens. Love ya all, whoever reads this story, you are worth the time to review! I read every last one, I swear. Ask a good enough question, and I may reply.**

Simon got out of Cathy's car, shut the door, and turned to her and smiled. "See you around, Rhentile!" He shouted as she drove away "Rhienmetall!" Simon turned after hearing her chuckling and shouting back as she turned the corner "Sorry!" Simon unlocked the doors, and walked to the office. He arrived, and sat in the chair. Simon looked around, bored, spun around in the chair.

Suddenly the door closed.. By itself!

Simon shot out of the chair. "What in hell?.." The door opened, then closed again. Suddenly a wave of cold washed over Simon, through his two shirts! (His security shirt and his normal gray T-shirt) "Who is there?" He asked, calmly. "A previous employee." The voice sounded eighteenish, but completely serious. "What is doing here?" "I don't have a choice to be here, in fact if I had the choice I'd be over 5OO miles from here."

"What's your name?" "Jacob Fitzeres." Simon's eyes went wide. The blood splattered uniform. His name. Holy SHIESSE. "Your alive?" "No." He knew Jacob was smiling. He could hear it on his voice. "I was wondering, why you and the other guy still got this Job? Why are you staying?" "I need the money. I don't know his purpose." Then a.. Transparent.. Eighteen-year-old-looking-guy walked in through the left door, wearing a brown hoodie, grey undershirt, long brown hair, in a pony tail in the back of his head, blue exercise pants, and black rimmed metal glasses.

"Here I am, heheh." He wore a smile too far off to be real, eye's brown and in need on consolation. He tilted his head questioningly. "So, Ludvig Bielschmidt, how's the job?" Simon leaped forward and stuck his taser.. Right through him. A cold feeling enveloped Simon's arm as he went right through the figure's chest. "Ugh, yeah, that.. Uh, gotta explain that.."

Jacob shrugged, and smiled. "If you freak out, it'll be good. Go on. Tell me you haven't seen something this weird before, Fritzie. See, I'm dead." Simon's jaw dropped. He'd just tried to taser a ghost, who seemed to be a bit dysfunctional. "H-Hey.. Uh.." "Jacob." "Jacob, uh.." "No, no need to opologize bud. I would've done that too had some strange dead guy walked in the room- HEY!" Jacob seemed to teleport, he moved so fast, he shot to the other side of the room, closing the door, sealing a large purple humanoid bunny out.

"I'm here to keep ya alive, uh.. I've ran out of offensive nicknames, what the hell's your name?" "Simon Rheinmetall." "Simon, I'm here to keep you alive. I am NOT letting another person die in this hell hole." The lights flickered as he said "NOT" as if on cue or under his control, and Simon saw Jacobs clothes.. Get covered in blood. Blood had trickled into his undershirt all along the neck and his chin, blood dripped from his eyes, blood dripped from his pants, blood had been in his hair, cuts everywhere on his face, arms, shins.

Jacob smiled "Capiche?" Simon nodded vigorously. "Y'know what sucks about being a ghost?" Simon lifted an eyebrow. "I can't leave the damn building. And your the first guy who's actually been able to.. Y'know.. SEE me." Simon leaned up in his chair "Did-did you know who made the tapes?"

"Talking about me?" FWUMP.

Simon fell to the floor after jumping practically twelve feet in the air. Simon turned to see a man almost eight feet tall, smiling. He was bald, wearing a green hat, a blue shirt, grey pants, a large scar underneath his eye. Good GOD he was tall and bulky.

He smiled. "Nicholas Brenemir," he reached out his flipping BEAR PAW like hands to help Simon up, Simon reached up and his hand went right through Nicholas's. Nicholas frowned "Dammit, third time tonight I forgot." He had a deep Russian accent.

Simon stood up by himself, finally opened the door that Bonnie had left two minutes ago. "So in case that this is too much to have two dead men crowding you, please notify me." Jacob sniggered. "Good one, Nick." Nicholas frowned "Wasn't joking, Jay." "It's JACOB. J-A-C-O-B." He spelled it out for Nicholas.

Both ghosts were only slightly transparent. The two were obviously familiar with one another. "If you don't mind me asking... How long have you.." "Been dead? Me, twelve weeks. Thing was, I started two years ago. I didn't care about death. It didn't matter to me. I was here before Nick here." Nicholas turned, Simon swore, if this giant man still had weight to his body he probably had thunderous footfalls. "I've been in this hell for fifteen day's, but died two days ago. You walked in five hours after I died." Simon's throat tightened. Jacob reached out and closed the right door, and three loud SLAMS hit three seconds later. It was natural, as if it took no effort for Jacob.

Jacob turned to Nicholas, and Nicholas nodded. "Only Nick can remember how he died. I can't remember, all I remember is.. A lot of knife wounds. Nick says it was also a knife fight. It surprises me Nick didn't win, seeing as how his fists are bigger than my head. It was a woman, Middle aged, not short but not tall, but extremely skilled with that knife. It was a butterfly knife, she got Nicky here eighteen times in the gut, and walked away, leaving him in the back room to die. Nick missed his first and last swing, she caught him by surprise."

Nicholas looked at his feet, and repeated aloud, as if quoting someone. "That burning you feel?," he looked up, as if tears were to come any minute "It is shame.." Jacob closed the door on Foxy again, and another series of thumps, and it was over. Jacob smiled "Whoever it was got me from behind, once in the back. I was running. Fast. Like I was terrified. That, that is what surprises me. My own face when I FELT FEAR seems foreign to me."

 **The night ended with a long bell jingle.**

Jacob put his hands in his hoodie pockets, and said "Let's head out, Nick, see ya tomorrow Simon." "Da, seeing's you again soon." The two walked down the hall two steps, and disappeared. Poof. Gone. Into thin air.

 **Well, that chapter is over Hoora guys, that's another one down. Thanks, and sorry if this one is a little short. Please, continue to read, I'm grateful for all of those who read. Thank you so much.**


	9. Music Anyone? (Sorry for updating later)

**Karmic Retribution**

 **Chapter 8 of that one shot that isn't a one shot. Again, I love all the reviews I receive. Regardless of intent, please, please review. It's the flesh and blood of this story.**

Simon walked out of the office, eyes the size of hub caps. He walked up to the front doors, not feeling the vibe of America anymore. The vibe was that it was a safe, wealthy country, where everyone had a good time and had food, water, shelter and such. Simon just felt the cold of the room. The world seemed to have fallen into the hands of a big man who had a deep hate for Simon. Every day was more stress and people getting injured.

Simon thought on that, and unlocked the doors to the pizzeria, to almost get ran over by a group of 3rd graders that were up way too early and parents who looked like they'd rather be in hell then here. Simon finally felt all of them pass him, and walked out the doors, still seeing that Mike's car was there. Simon jogged off to Kate's house.

 **Meanwhile in the hospital,**

Mike sat on a hospital bed, looking at the wheelchair parked next to his bed. He played multiple rounds of solitaire. Finally, after long last, Lori walked in. "Morning Mr. Schmidt!" "Mike." "Mike. Ok, that's fine. Morning to you either way." Lori sat down at the desk next to Mike, and rested her elbow against the wood surface and propped up her head with her hand.

She let out a loud and annoyed sigh. "Mike, about the wheelchair or crutches thing.. I lied," Mike 'hmm?'d "There were plenty of crutches. This hospital has never once been lacking of crutches. Ever." Mike's eyebrow's shot up. "Why?" "I dunno. Thought you'd look cute in a wheelchair. When you told me the story of getting shoved around by those girls while in your wheelchair, I felt bad."

Mike sighed. "That was terrible. Mostly they just left me sitting in the hallway while sneaking off into the bathrooms to text and text and text about stupid things, until fourth period, from first period. I didn't make it to most of my classes because of them. I came damn near having to repeat the sixth grade."

 **Meanwhile with Simon,**

Simon had finally arrived at Kate's house, and ran in the door. "I need to get to the hospital!" Kate leaned out from her bedroom, using the door to conceal all but her head. "I'm guessing you want me to drive you?" "Ja!" Simon was obviously in a hurry. "I need to dry off, I almost shot you because you came in so fast and loud. I thought you were burglar!" She held out the 12 guage shotgun she'd had in her left hand. Simon shuddered.

Simon then put the shotgun down on the couch. She had gotten a towel, and was in her room with the door closed, but still in hearing distance. "Did you know Mike had a shotgun in his car?" Kate replied "No. I've never been in his car Simon. Duh."

Simon zoned out. He walked out and sat on Kate's porch. He saw a kid across the street, playing a song on his stereo. "These days are dark and the nights are cold, people acting like they lost their soul, and everywhere I go I see another person like me, just trying to make it felt like home.." (Feel Like Home, Fort Minor)

Simon took the words of the man on the stereo to heart. And it was true. Kate. Cathy. Mike. Jacob. Nicholas. The gang he beat down. The people he saw in general. But then a crowd approached the kid sitting on his porch across from Simon. They started nodding their heads, laughing, singing along, looking quite happy. Simon smiled. Suffering getting drowned out. Simon almost fistpumped. He got up, and walked back inside.

Kate was dressed, looking pretty happy. "Ok, let's get moving... Wherever you wanted to go.." "Hospital. See Mike." Simon walked out with Kate, and she opened the doors to the car. She turned on the radio. "-but between me and you, it's just like a cigarette, it's something that I do, once in a while but between me and you, it's just like a cigarette, nobody's really fooled, I don't want the truth, I wanna feel fuckin' cool.." (Cigarette, Fort Minor)

Simon listened, and felt the futility of the world and American Dream that was always promised that would come. That everyone would be wealthy and happy. That all Americans would be defended equally and happiness was promised. It seemed a distant dream now. Something unattainable, but so close he could touch it. "You can't buy happiness. But you CAN rent it,.."

After some rather quiet travel, the two made it to the hospital. Simon closed the door, and trudged toward the front doors glumly. He knew Mike had been hit really hard, whatever landed him on the floor, it hit him like a FREIGHT TRAIN. Kate noticed Simon's rather droopy face. "Hey.. Lighten up, Rheinmetall. He's alive, he's fine." The world seemed stopped, time just slowed by 0.25, it was slow as hell. Nothing changed.

The song "Right Now" played in Simon's head. (Again, Fort Minor)

The world seemed to lighten up as finally, they made it to the front desk. "Hello. What you want?" The front desk woman seemed like she'd rather be anywhere else right now. She was a 17 year old, texting, not even looking up to register their existence. Simon reached out, and pushed her phone screen down with two fingers, until she looked up and their eyes met, and she knew Simon was dead serious.

"I need to get to the room of Michael Schmidt." (When your so far left that even death looks right..) she brought her phone back up, but said "He's up on floor 2, room 11. I think he has the hots for the nurse." She grinned evilly. _Simon gave her that look only some German people can manage, that could make any grown man piss and shit himself simultaneously, and then melt into a puddle of grown man goop. It was a look that said 'I know the exact moment, time, day, week, year, and decade of your death, how, and why, and what with, and who you were with. But I can change that date to TODAY, right now, and make it as painful and excruciating as possible.'_

She shut up, and her face went white, and she chewed her lower lip. Simon and Kate walked away. That look had more lethality than a drive by shooting..

Finally, Simon and Kate made it to Mike's room. Simon and Kate leaned in, clapped their hands over their mouths, and leaned back onto the wall. "Ohmygodshewaskissinghimohmygodshewaskissinghimohmygodshewaskissinghimohmygodshewaskissinghiiiiiiiim!" Kate whisper yelled. Simon however was grinning. "Hehe, wow Mike. That quick huh?"

 **Wow. Mike's doin' a good job of getting back into the game huh? Yep. The chapters over folks, come back a little while. Review please. Sorry for not updating for a long while, life sorta just hit me like a truck full of cinder blocks. Doing 90. Down a mountain. Straight into the Earths core. And out the other side. Well yeah, also, go listen to those songs. They help understand what I was trying to say, and what Simon was thinking.**


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